


i want more of the things that i’d die for

by ethyxx



Category: Persona 5
Genre: 2/2 spoilers, Angst, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, persona 5 royal spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:28:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24689152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ethyxx/pseuds/ethyxx
Summary: They both knew how the night would end.  They could try and hide it behind a façade of discussions and calling card deliveries, but the outcome was always going to be the same, regardless of how they wanted to dress it up.
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Comments: 8
Kudos: 114





	i want more of the things that i’d die for

**Author's Note:**

> PERSONA 5 ROYAL SPOILERS BELOW

3:27 am

It’s a given that sleep wouldn’t come easy. Snow turned into rain somewhere after midnight and it’s still going strong hours later, the constant drip on the windowsill a reminder of the world outside the attic.

They both knew how the night would end. They could try and hide it behind a façade of discussions and calling card deliveries, but the outcome was always going to be the same, regardless of how they wanted to dress it up. 

Maruki’s last-ditch effort at changing their minds had resulted in several thrown punches, one cut lip and a few minutes of desperate pleading, all of which seem rather meaningless in hindsight.

All it took for him to break was Akira getting in his space, forcing a leg between his own, mouth close enough that he could smell the blood gathering on the other’s bottom lip. 

He had lied through his teeth saying that he hadn’t come to LeBlanc that night looking for Akira. Looking for the attention that he knew he only Akira could give him, but even in the face of his impending demise, he couldn’t find the words to ask. 

He felt pathetic; a sorry excuse of a man. He was foolish to think that Akira could think fondly of someone like him - someone that couldn’t show the barest hint of affection towards anyone.

Akira knew though, of course he did. He had taken his hand and guided him upstairs, kissed him until they couldn’t breathe and then he loved him. As cliché as it sounded, it really wasn’t the same as every other time - the secret post-Mementos rendezvous at his apartment, the late nights that turned to early mornings spent in LeBlanc once they knew that Sakura had left, or the dirty, rushed breaks spent on his knees in the bathroom of the jazz club in-between sets on live music nights. 

He somehow despised and craved the way it made him feel. Wanted. Complete. Loved? Ruined. 

Here they were hours later, still unable to sleep. Even though Akira had taken the initiative earlier, they had managed to fall into their usual positions; Akechi on his back with Akira’s head resting on his chest.

“Are you afraid?” 

Akira’s words startle him after the hours of silence. He wondered if there could possibly be any words left worth saying. 

“Afraid of what? Of Dying?” he asks as his fingernails graze the back on Akira’s neck with an almost nonexistent amount of pressure. “It’s not like it’s my first time. Some would say I’m an expert in the field at this point.”

He is, of course, terrified. Dying was a much easier concept to process when you felt that you had absolutely nothing to lose, but laying in bed with the weight of an entire human being holding you down really puts things into perspective. 

He’s growing less and less sure of the words he had spoken in the bar a few hours ago—a fraud.

“You don’t need to lie,” Akira’s responds. “I know something’s bothering you.”

Goro’s glad that Akira chose not to look at his face as spoke.

He decides not to respond directly. He doesn’t need to. 

“It’s funny, really. There are a startling number of people out there who pray for an afterlife, all for the chance to see how those who knew them would react to their death and here I am, blessed with that same gift. Unfortunately for those self-centred enough to believe that the world revolves around them and that all of those people that once said that they loved them would continue to love them forever, life goes on. Nothing is forever.” Goro’s hand crawls from the back of Akira’s neck and moves towards the top of his head, fingers raking through the thick mess of curls as he speaks. “I don’t believe that anyone even noticed I was gone. They all probably just assumed I had ran into hiding after the almighty Phantom Thieves saved the day if they even thought about me at all. No one cares when you’re not there to give them something back in return, be it love or something more superficial.”

Goro can feel damp-breath dance across his skin before Akira speaks, “I never stopped caring.”

He desperately wants to believe Akira’s words.

“But you will. Someday. Perhaps I just wasn’t gone long enough,” Goro pauses and brings his other hand to Akira’s chin and tips his face upwards where their eyes eventually meet. “I’ll try harder this time.”

Even in the dark, Goro can see the disappointment in Akira’s face. It’s Akira’s fault, really. He should know by now that placing too much faith and belief in someone like him is a mistake. 

Loving him is an even bigger mistake. 

“Y’know, you’re more similar to Maruki than you think.”

A punch to the gut. They have spent the past month trying to change the heart of a man willing to manipulate the minds of everyone for his own sense of satisfaction and then here’s Akira with some six degrees of separation bullshit.

“I fail to see the connection, but please, I’d love to hear how you’ve come to this conclusion.”

The mattress creaks as Akira lifts himself off of Goro and lays his head on the pillow next to him, foreheads almost touching but not quite. 

“You both think that you know what’s best for everyone, for me.” Goro feels Akira’s hand slowly run up the length of his body as he speaks before he lays his hand on the side of his neck. “Part of me thinks it’s because I’m quiet, but Maruki and you and everyone else I’ve ever met throughout my life have put words into my mouth and it’s not fair. If it’s not right for Maruki to give everyone their ideal world and let them live a lie for the rest of their life even if it means they’ll be happy, then it’s not right for you to tell me that I can’t love you. I’ve accepted your wishes even though it’s not what I want. The least you could do is be understanding of mine.”

He wants to say it back but he can’t. He’s nothing but a coward. Instead, he brings a hand up to meet Akira’s own that’s still resting against his neck and takes it in his own. 

He closes the distance between them, lips brushing against Akira’s as he speaks.

“Till death do us part, then.”


End file.
